Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Fifty Shades of a Man: Shade 1

GROSS. Let me just say this, after spending 2 hours deep cleaning my bathroom over a span of two days, ya'll men are disgusting! Pint sized and adult, you are gross! How many times do you need to be potty trained throughout your life? I mean really, if you're going to piss all over the toilet and bathroom floor, do everyone a favor and just wear some damn depends.
I clean my bathroom once a week at least and deep clean it once a month and every single time I want to vomit. Little boys are the worst! They are gross and I am so thankful I never had a little brother. They start out by pissing all over the place, not wiping their asses, not brushing their teeth, and then lead into eventually giving up on showers all together. One day they decide to start taking showers again but only when they want to show interest in women and get laid. Then they find that girl they want to date and get comfortable, too comfortable. They eventually start peeing all over the place again and not keeping up on hygiene. Maybe they're just being lazy but damn!!! PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE YOUR SHOOTING THAT THING! Sheesh!
And the next time I hear a man say "that girl is nasty" I'm just going to come out and say it. "Do every female a favor and put an air freshener under your balls and wipe you damn ass!"

Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, October 15, 2012

About Me

I'm a REAL mom who's not afraid to speak her mind. I'm a mom who makes mistakes, learns from them, and then makes more. I have a beautiful daughter whom I adore but raising her hasn't always been perfect. I'm not here to sugar coat anything. Life happens and it is what it is.

My family and I live in Northwest Ohio (the weather sucks) and consists of my daughter, fiancé, and our four rescue dogs. We're just a little family trying to make ends meet. My fiancé and I both work outside of the home and do our best to give our daughter a great life.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Crazy Day

The past few days have been nuts around here. Yesterday Ed, Xylah, and I went to see my grandpa while he was in the hospital. He's doing much better now, thank god! After that we did some shopping at Giant Eagle for super double coupons and I scored some pretty good deals along with some free stuff. We can home and while I was cleaning up the kitchen, my daughter did the craziest thing...

I'm trying to teach her how the potty works so that we can start potty training. She has no real interest in it but sticking her foot in the bowl. Anyway, the puppy takes an "accidental" poop right in front of the front door and not more then a minute after I had cleaned it up, Xylah goes over to the exact spot he pooped, squats, and takes a dump. Really? This is going to be a lot harder then I thought!

Today started out rough, Xylah had puked all over herself and her crib in the middle of the night. I knew I heard something on the monitor so I checked her out and she was still breathing but I never saw the barf until this morning. First thing I had to do was bathe her and get all her sheets cleaned. Then later I catch her sitting in the dog's water dish again. I just gave her a bath!!! She is obsessed with that water dish and I don't know what to do to get her to stop playing in it. We've tried everything from timeouts to distractions. Nothing is working. So to top it off, she's teething the I teeth and she's had the poops all day and has been super moody. I feel like my head might explode if I hear one more cry. AHHH!!!

Now Ed's niece and nephew are here. I was hoping they would be a good distraction for X but she's so moody, all she wants is her mommy and her blankie. POOP! We somehow managed to distract her for a little bit by putting together her little kitchen. It wasn't didn't work for very long, though. Needless to say, I haven't gotten much done around the house the past couple of days and I probably won't get anything done until Monday. Ed's niece and nephew are staying all weekend and we're taking them to the cherry festival tomorrow in Whitehouse. It looks like a blast but it's supposed to be hot and muggy. Hopefully Xylah can stick it out for a couple hours. Maybe it will get her mind off of teething.

Sunday we are heading to Toledo to visit some friends after we drop the kiddos off at home. Then hopefully, we can get some down time. Anyone have tips on potty training? Any help would be appreciated!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I'm a fatty and I know it...

Every time I hear that song, "I'm sexy and I know it", I make up my own fat version. It's all in good fun but I really need to get cracking. Yesterday my doc tested me for Diabetes because of all these little infections I keep getting. It could very well be my thyroid or just all the antibiotics I've been on. If it is pre-diabetes then maybe it will give me a swift kick in the ass to get healthier. I know it's stupid, but it really takes a huge thing to make me want to change something. I don't have the best will-power. Also, my insurance will cover a nutritionist if the results come back a little off. Maybe a nutritionist will help me get back to a healthier weight.

Any who... I was thinking about doing a music video to LMFAO's "Sexy and I know It" remix. You know, the fatty version. Anyone want to be in it? It would be fun!

I Love Xylah's Laugh...

Laughing at the dogs, yet again! She's so cute!

Xylah throwing food at the dogs

She has the best fun with the dogs!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

It's time for bed....

Here I am at one in the morning being a mom. I laid Xylah down around 11 and now she's up and about, AGAIN. The puppy slammed our American Mastiff (Karma) into Xylah's bedroom door and nipped Karma so bad that she yelped and woke the little princess up. I was hoping she would go back to sleep, but after 20 mins of her crying over the monitor, I figured I should go get her. More cuddle time for us, right? She's STILL awake and this mommy was ready for bed 2 hours ago. Guess I could tell you what happened in our lives today.

I was inside making dinner earlier and Ed had the charcoal grill going out in the driveway. Xylah was out playing by the swing set. Ed apparently decided to run inside and wash his hands real quick while Xylah was still outside. I'm walking to the backdoor when I see her reach for the grill. I screamed at her (yes, I screamed. I was freaking out) but it was too late. She had touched the lid of the grill just as I was yelling at her not to. OMG! I thought I was going to have a freaking panic attack! I ran her inside as fast as I could to run her tiny fingers under the cold water. When we were done with the water Ed took her out to the swing to get her mind off it. I went into the bathroom and cried like a little baby; I felt like such a horrible parent. I can't imagine something bad ever happening to her and I feel like if I don't protect her 24/7, anything could happen. I know I shouldn't hover and that I should expect accidents to happen but that just doesn't work for me. I feel awful if she stubs her toe! Thankfully she only has a tiny blister on one of her fingers but it's enough to make me feel like a complete jerk. I later asked Ed if he thought we were bad parents and he said no and that we can't protect her from everything. Accidents happen and sometimes she's going to have to learn the hard way. I still feel like a jerk. I should have been out there with her, distracting her.

Before this whole ordeal, Xylah and I were chasing each other around the house and next thing I know... she decides to pop a squat in the dog's water bowl. Are you kidding me, lol? Water went everywhere and we both ended up soaked. She thought it was hilarious until I picked her up and carried her into her room to get dressed. I wish she would stop playing in the dog's water. I don't mind when she throws dog food all over the house because they're always right behind her cleaning it up. Water is a whole different story though.

I really hope we make it out of these toddler years alive...

Monday, June 4, 2012

Oh, the joys of life...

Couple of things today...

Xylah has her vampire teeth coming in right now and I can't remember what they're called for the life of me. So, last night we checked out X's teeth to see if the top ones had come through yet and noticed that one of them on top had but so had the two on the bottom! We're always so busy checking on the top ones that we miss the bottoms coming in. I'm not mad though, there's only one left then we're free until the last molars come in. I heard these 4 that are coming in now are the most painful for them and the biggest pain in the butt. She's doing well with it if you ask me!

Today was our court date for the dogs. :( Almost $1500 this is going to end up costing... between court fines and fees, lawyer fees, damages, and insurance. Apparently there was damage to the cart the horse was pulling and that will cost about $300 to fix. The horse is fine, thank god! Karma's fine for hopping the fence was $100 and the pit bulls cost $41 a piece because their case got thrown out since we proved that they were insured. I'm still bitter about the whole thing. People keep trying to force me to get rid of Karma because they're pissed at her. I don't know what to do. That Dog Warden really makes me mad. Three more weeks and we wouldn't have had to worry about the Pit Bulls because of the laws changing in Ohio. They just want money, if you ask me.

So anyway, I contacted the Mastiff Rescue in Wisconsin to see if they had any input about Karma and if they find her dangerous because she chased down a horse. We'll see what they say...

Guess I better get to cleaning this house for our cook-out on Saturday. Hopefully it will go well!